A popular children's snack, in which the sweet crackers are shaped like zoo animals.
"Sweet" my a$$. Eating an animal cracker is roughly the equivalent of eating a piece of cardboard. I don't care if it's shaped like a polar bear, it still tastes like crap. It's not like M&Ms where you pick out your favorite color and (somehow) your brain convinces you that the blue M&M tastes better than the brown. With animal crackers, the polar bear tastes just as sh*tty as the donkey.
And what the hell are they thinking when they pick the species of animal shapes to feature in Nabisco's "Barnum's Animal Crackers"? Have you ever seen a sheep in the circus, or a koala for that matter? Stick with the circus showbiz theme of animal incarceration and abuse. Interestingly enough, PETA hasn't made any arson attempts (to date) on a Nabisco factory which means it considers Nalgene and Paris Hilton to be greater threats to the animal kingdom. Call me crazy but this reeks of a PETA conspiracy to curtail carnivorous activity in young children. Picture this:
[Upon eating an animal cracker in the shape of a cow]
As you lift the cracker to your mouth you see the little bovine creature and your eyes send signals to your brain that you are eating something that looks like a cow. As you begin to chew, your taste bud receptors signal to the cranial nerves that you are eating a disgusting cracker and they, in turn, carry that crappy taste up to the brain. The brain then associates consuming "cow" products with the taste of crap thereby reducing children's natural proclivity to eat meat. Case closed. Bravo, PETA, bravo.
Oh, and to the marketing geniuses at Nabisco: Your asinine claim that your "crackers" are a "Good source of calcium" can only be explained by the fact that people associate "calcium" with things that are white (e.g. milk, cheese, etc) and you can make that claim because your crackers are made primarily out of chalk. Please pass the Jules Destrooper Almond Thins.
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